Baby Time

Ever since this little boy came into my life, time as past so quickly, yet so slowly. I can't believe that Brooks is 4 months old today yet it feels like I have been with him for a lifetime. Every day is new and exciting with my little angel. Although daddy and I are quite tired and sometimes frustrated by all of life's demands, every day is so much more than it used to be now that Brooks is in our lives. His wide expressive eyes and great big grin could make the coldest of hearts melt. Honestly, the best thing in the world is making him laugh. Tonight I looked back on all of his earlier pictures and I can hardly believe it is the same boy. Not only has he transformed into the most adorable and active 4 month old, I have transformed as a mommy. Like I said, every day is new and with that comes a lot of challenges and rewards that make me who I am as a mommy. Things change, but one thing has never, I would do anything for Brooks. I put his happiness and health ahead of mine and I always will. This love is overpowering. Happy 4 month Birthday Brooks. You are an amazing little boy (little little boy). Your daddy and I love you OH SO MUCH.

Change...

Brooks Daniel has been growing and changing every day in so many ways. First of all - his hair grew back in in the front where he lost it early on. He smiles, laughs and sometimes shrieks with excitement when he gets really worked up. He sees the whole room now and will fixate on things in the room and I wonder WHAT he is thinking?! He watches Leo now. He uses his hands but mostly only to make fists and suck on them. He is sleeping well. Eating well. He weighs close to 15 pounds, and was in the 90th percentile in height and weight at his last check up.

I love him so much it hurts. It hurts inside, deep down where I have never felt emotion before. I miss him when he sleeps. I want to kiss him nonstop when he's awake. He lights up my days and nights. I am so happy being mommy I can't stand it. It is the best feeling in the world. I love my family!

8 weeks

I am falling more and more in love with my little guy every day. These last 8 weeks have gone by so fast yet every moment has felt like a lifetime. Being a busy new mom it is hard to update this blog very often so I hope the pictures say enough.

5 Weeks Old

Check out the double chins and Garcia cheeks!

Caught mid-way threw a smile... looks a little sly!

A stern look with his wide expressive eyes.

1 Month

Brooks Daniel was brought into this world one month ago today, and I was given the best gift anyone could ask for. At birth he weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and was 21.5 inches long. He yelled as I held him against my chest, and latched on to my breast with complete confidence within minutes. The day was a blur... Butch and I were in shock from the speed at which he was delivered. It seemed like he came to us in our dreams.

The last month has been an amazing time in my life. The love I feel for this little guy is overwhelming and leaves me breathless at times. I love to look at him. Every day he changes a little and my heart aches with the thought of him growing up and leaving these memories behind us. I am so grateful for him, for this exhausting time, and for loving partner and a supportive loving family and friends.

I will always remember the following things about Brooks at one month; His double chins, his wide expressive eyes, his grunty sounds, his soft coos, his long silky dark hair in the back and thinning hair in the front, his fuzzy shoulders, back, and ears, his big hands and feet, and long legs. He loves the bath. He loves the black and white picture wall, the blinds in the bedroom and the sky light in the living room. He loves to suck his daddy's pinky finger. He grimaces at too much light, when Leo licks his feet, and some times all the time for no reason. He eats often and makes a lot of noise. He also poops very loudly and farts. He has a hilarious pursed-lip look when he is working on a poop. He sometimes sticks his entire fist in his mouth to self sooth. He loves to cuddle - ALL the time. He is a snuggle bug, a grunty bear, and a peanut...

So many more memories floating around in my tired brain. Bottom line is I love this guy - I love being a mom. Happy 1 month birthday Brooks! You are amazing in every way.

Brooks Daniel Boswell

These pictures are from Brooks' newborn photo shoot done at 8 days old. For the next few days you can see the entire gallery at http://www.tamaralalanne.com/?slideshow=brooks

The password is: Brooks

Birth Story

I woke up to my water breaking (gushing actually) at 2:45 a.m. on Wednesday 7.15.09. I announced to Butch, who seemed to be listening in his sleep that my water broke and he looked at the alarm clock in the bedroom and announced the time. I knew I was in good hands with Butch by my side. We went to the bathroom and I got into the tub to rinse off. My water continued to leak in the tub and we examined the fluid and determined it was perfectly normal. Clear, no smell, nothing to worry about, which meant we did not need to call my midwife until the contractions started. I felt so excited and a little nervous (but mostly excited) I got giddy and started laughing and my energy level rose. I rambled on nervously and imagined what the next 24 hours would be like... I was about to meet my baby Brooks! Butch said it was important not to get too excited (as instructed by our midwife) and to get back in bed and sleep as long as possible. I didn't argue with him because I felt like what he was really saying is that he needed to get back in bed and sleep as long as possible. I knew there was no chance that I would be able to sleep but I agreed with him that I needed to save my energy because labor could still be hours away. We got into bed and Butch fell right to sleep. I heard him snoring within 10 minutes. My water continued to gush over and over again. I kept getting up to clean up, then I would get back into bed and say my HypboBirthing affirmations over and over in my head as I relaxed in the dark. I visualized opening up encouraged Brooks come to me as soon as possible. About 6:00 a.m. I had to go to the bathroom. By the 3rd time on the toilet I started to feel strong pain in my lower back. I thought "are contractions finally starting? Am I having back labor?" My anxiety level shot up. I decided to take a shower with the shower head on high pressure to massage my lower back. It relaxed me a little but things were getting really intense, really fast. I called out for Butch and he didn't come the first time, so I called for him again much louder and he bolted into the bathroom with wide eyes and a big smile. I told him to call our midwife right away. He asked me how close my contractions were and I said "close." I told him to call her immediately. I kept saying "this is happening so fast!" I told Butch he may have to deliver Brooks and he assured me he could handle it (that's MY MAN!) Thankfully it didn't come to that. Meanwhile Butch handed Leo off to Mark to dog sit. I didn't want Leo getting freaked out or getting in the way. Edana arrived half an hour later and asked me to feel between my legs to see if I could feel the baby's head. She had to convince me to leave the shower because it hurt so much I didn't think I could move. When I finally laid on the bed so she could check me I was fully dilated. At the time I didn't realize that meant I could push any time I was ready. I was so caught up in the pressure and consumed by my thoughts. From that point on much of my labor was a blur. The pressure of Brooks dropping was really intense. It was a LOT at ONCE. Everything happened so so fast. I felt a lot of pressure on my lower back. It felt like I was shating out a bowling ball. That was the worse part of my labor. Butch was right there the entire time holding my hand and literally holding me up through many of my contractions. It seemed like I was changing labor positions every contraction. I thought I would love the warm bathtub but it was really uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable through every contraction but the "best" ones were when I was facing Butch and he was holding me up while Meagan (Edana's assistant) applied counter pressure on my lower back. It would have been so much worse without that. I was somewhat dilusional thinking I could find the perfect position that would ease the pain and make me feel strong again. The shocking thing about a natural childbirth is how the pressure is all you can think about. I know the pain is there to make woman breath the baby down and push them into the world (in order to alleviate the pain). No matter how uncomfortable or painful labor was I just kept imagining my baby boy and the fact that I would be holding him very soon.

Edana, Meagan, Kristy, and of course Butch, encouraged me, gave me lots of fluids, and helped me through the most incredible and challenging moments of my life. The contractions finally started to hurt less once Brooks' head started to emerge. I had a few very clear moments actually talking and joking with the girls and exchanging loving words with Butch. Whenever Kristy would check for heart tones I would feel at peace when I heard his strong beating heart working as hard as I was to come into this world and meet me. When it was time to push the urge took me over and I became an animal. I screamed and held my breath and focused on the trophy... my love... my Brooks. I pushed 3 or 4 times, and it was actually easy compared to earlier labor. I think the huge endorphin rush I had (100 times better than an epidural) sent me into another universe because I thought it felt good. Edana told Butch and I that she could see his head and it was covered in long black hair. Butch took a look... and I knew it was real... it was happening. I was ready to meet Brooks so I pushed with everything inside me and I have never felt more alive. He came into the world at 10:11 am on 8.15.09 in our bedroom on the end of our bed. Brooks was surrounded by loving people and as I held him for the first time warmth filled my heart and I became a mom.

I am sure I am leaving out a thousand tiny little details that I will store in my mind and never forget. Brooks had the most beautiful birth I could have imagined. Edana, Kristy and Meagan were all wonderful. Butch was amazing. I don't think there will be another experience in life that will compare to this. Thank God for keeping Brooks and I safe. I will always be grateful to everyone who influenced me and pushed me towards having a natural childbirth. I hope to do it again someday.

Brooks Daniel Boswell welcomed to our world

Brooks Daniel Boswell was welcomed to our world on 7/15/09 at 10:11 AM at home, 2129 Cypress St., SLO... Little B, so alert, so beautiful... his little spirit brightened our lives tenfold and made me feel more alive than I have ever felt. Being a mommy this last week has been full of excitement, nervousness, and most of all an overwhelming feeling of joy. I am not as strong and confident as that 9 month pregnant woman YET. Getting to know this little guy and myself as a new mom leaves me full of questions and sometimes anxiety. All in all I feel so grateful for #1 my husband! My love for him has grown huger than my heart and my mind and my body can absorb... #2 the people that inspired me to prepare for the best birth experience possible and helped my dream of having a natural birth come true... and #3 a million little things that Brooks brings to life around me...

I have to go eat dinner now--- next minute I have I will finish this post--- it will be a long one...

TBD

Latest belly shot!

Here is the latest: 39 weeks and 2 days. I am feeling great! Can't wait to meet this guy...

The Waiting Game

It sounds harsh to say I am waiting for baby Brooks to be born because I do not feel an urgency for him to come out. He is so protected and all of his needs are being met so easily and peacefully inside my womb. He is in a world all of us should be jealous of! His next world will be a little shocking - - but Butch and I plan to do everything possible to ease his transition to the big outside world. In fact for the first few weeks of his life I would like to keep him in a little bubble, with me, daddy, family, and of course warmth, food and quiet. I want to recreate the womb with as little noise, light and stimulation as possible. Does that sound crazy? Well I read that somewhere and it makes sense to me. Of course we'll have to venture out eventually, but I don't want to rock his world too much, too soon. That said, I am excited to see his little face. I daydream (and night dream) about it all the time. I am savoring in these last few days of pregnancy, taking the time to absorb every movement and think about every activity that could be the last before he is here!

Butch and I have been soaking up every last minute alone together! Over the past 5 1/2 years it has been just us... until Leo came along and made our world brighter and lovelier. Now this little guy will come along and do the same thing. Everyone likes to tell us how hard it will be, how little sleep we will get, and how Butch and I will never be the same. Thank you to everyone who has said "we will never be the same" in a positive way! Of course we are expecting things to be different, but we will change together and grow in love because of the love we have for our son. With this new chapter we hope you will all have a huge part in caring for our baby and growing with us as well. Thank you all for your support. We truly feel it and feel loved beyond belief. Thank you thank you! Love love!

Katrina & Brooks

Big mama!

Butch took this picture tonight - as you can see I am really tired and ready for bed (it's 7:45pm) I am not sleeping so well at night, but I am so thankful to be off work now and able to nap during the day! I have a prenatal apt. tomorrow (6/30), I think my midwife will check me which could be exciting. He is stirring like crazy and getting mama reallllly excited to finally see his face.  

Today my girlfriend Coco went into the hospital to have her baby. She was induced about 4:00pm so her little girl may be born today or tomorrow. Can't wait to meet her! 

xoxo Katrina & Brooks 

Day 254

Butch and I have been saying a lot lately that we have so much to be thankful for. We are so incredibly fortunate to have all that we have and to know the people we know. If it wasn't for all the loving supportive people in our lives I don't know where we would be. I don't think I can say it enough - we have so much to be thankful for. Our home, our jobs, our family, our friends, our health, our Leo, to name a few. I feel overwhelmed by the immense love I have for everyone, and the thought of bringing Brooks' into such a beautiful time in our lives where he can feel all the love too! I can not wait to bring him into this world. I know I have said it before but I mean it now more than ever, I am so excited for his birth! I have wanted him for so long and now he is almost here. My baby! It feels like Christmas now that the countdown is kind-of on! I say "kind-of" because I don't really care when he comes, just as long as he is ready, I will be ready. However mentally and physically I would like more time to prepare, so if everything works out in my favor he will hold off until his due date (7/18). It is better for him to stay 'in the oven' as long as possible anyway.

On another note, I am super excited to share in motherhood with my amazing friends, Julie & Colleen (among many others). Colleen is due today! Little Girl McBride will be born anytime and she is coming into such a loving, beautiful family, my heart wells up to think of all the love they will share. Ahhhh.

xoxo Katrina

Momma love

My mom flew down from Yakima to be with us on our shower day and to share in the joy and anticipation of our baby Brooks. Thanks for being here mom! You are going to be an amazing grandma.

Shower

Julie, Colleen, Myself, Katie & Amy... 

You girls mean so much to me! You all helped me get to the place I am right now. You each helped me find love and find myself. I am so glad you are in my life, I am so glad you will be in Brooks' life. Thank you for your awesome love and support. Thank you for being you.

Torpedo belly!

Gett'in there

Now 33 weeks along things are starting to feel really real. Really, really, real. The baby's movements are different. They are much stronger and seem to mean more. He is getting ready to leave the warm confinement of my uterus and join us in the big, mysterious outside world. Next weekend is our baby shower (34 weeks along), the weekend after that we have a little weekend gettaway planned for Butch's birthday (35 weeks along), then it is just a downhill slide to 36, 37, 38... I am already starting to miss being pregnant! I love having this little secret inside my belly. No one else can experience his kicks, turns, hiccups and the enormous change he has brought about in my life. My heart feels open and my mind feels ready. Still though, I have so many questions. When will he come? What will he look like? How will I feel? All to be answered very soon. For now, while I wait, Butch and I continue to do everything possible to get "ready" (as if that's possible) for this little peanut to enter our world and change everything. We think we know, but there is no way to know until he's here. Can't wait!

It's a Boy!

Nolan James Scherz was born on 5/19/09 at 8:04 pm weighing in at 8 lbs, 14 oz, and 20 inches long. Julie was AMAZING. Can I say that again... AMAZING. Her strenth and grace during a labor that did NOT go at all as planned (& was NOT at all easy) was a sign of what an incredible mom she is going to be. I am so proud of her! Her situation brought to light the fact that the most important thing to remember during the birth of our baby Brooks will be his health and well being. I will be stubborn in my choice to try to birth naturally up to a certain point because I believe deep down it is what I was born to do! It is my right as a woman and a mother to try to have that. But no one should worry about us. Butch, my midwife and I all want our baby boy to come out healthy, lively and ready to cause trouble the next 18 years. We will without a doubt follow our hearts but also be reasonable with my and Brooks' abilities. I am feeling very emotional after the last several days of birthing drama, and want everyone to know I love you very much and I am so thankful you are in our lives. xoxo Katrina & Brooks

1st Mother's day

Although our little Brooks Daniel is not present outside my womb, he is very present in our lives. This day, my first mother's day, is another symbolic day on our journey together. I have always been a "mother" at heart although I have never been so close to actually wearing the crown, until today. Once he is here I am assured my life will never be the same and I will never experience a love so profound. I feel so lucky to have this chance, to experience this miracle, and although countless women around the world have and will go through exactly what I am going through, I have never felt so special. A big reason this experience has been so gratifying and hopeful is because of Butch. He has been my anchor, my support, my other half. Now there is room for one more in our lives & hearts, and we CANNOT WAIT to become a family.

Happy Mother's day to all of you beautiful women! Especially my dear friend Julie who is about to meet her son, Nolan, if not today, then one day very soon.

Nolan and Brooks close friends before they exit the womb!
Watching and waiting...


Butch, and two big voluptuous bellies!

28 Weeks Down

Oh my family!! This is one of my favorite pictures to-date. This "four" some has been the highlight of my days and nights... Laying around on the couch with my AMAZING husband, my little love "Leo" by my side (or at my feet), along with the growing life inside my womb. This is such a wonderful, full, fascinating experience. Thank you to everyone who has kept us in your thoughts and prayers. I continue to do very well and am very excited! We are entering our (me and the baby) 3rd trimester. I am having some sciatic nerve discomfort but I have found an awesome chiropractor who takes care of me. I also love, LOVE our midwife. We had a check up this week and she palpated my stomach (felt the baby's position), and I felt so safe in her hands, literally. She seemed so happy to be caring for us... "US". She is totally in tune with Butch's needs and wants to "get to know" the baby and me before the big day. She commented on his length, his big head (normal-big, not scary-big), and his fast heartbeat. We may have a busy one our hands. He was moving all over the place and it was making us all laugh. I reached down to touch him and his response was clearly meant for me. She said he knows my touch... we are so connected... 

So everything is very good. We are looking forward to every day ahead and will keep you posted.  Lots of love.

Belly Laughs

Okay for those of you who are curious about the bump, here it is. This is the start of my 25th week. I still have 3 months to go.... where is he going to fit? LOL. This is still a lot of fun! He is wriggling about as I speak.

Enjoy each day

Hello sweet friends and family. Good news to report: everything is going very smoothly. If growing is wrong, than I don't want to be right, because I am getting bigger. This weekend I got my first unthoughtful comment regarding my weight gain (in my midsection) from a neighbor (we never really liked). So just for the record to all of you out there and to my rude neighbor, "I am only having one baby, not two." I take it all with a grain of salt and as my friend Julie says, just laugh it off. I know that inconsiderate comments will continue and it doesn't bother me at all because I have a baby growing inside of me, a precious human life, so thankfully that takes precedence over all.

He got the hiccoughs for the first (and second) time this weekend. So precious. Because I am a giver of love, I only wish I could share with you this overwhelming feeling of joy and anticipation. All of you mothers reading this know what I mean. This is such a special experience I will only have once in my life (one first time that is).

More news on him: He is roughly the length of an ear of corn, weighs over a pound, and his lungs and taste buds are developing this week. My uterus is the size of a soccer ball now. Although he is over a foot long he is very lean so he has lots of room to twist and roll and kick. I like to picture him dancing in there. It feels like he's got moves! Maybe he gets that from his Aunt Tracy.

I have a check up this week, so if there is any news to share I will. Otherwise, I hope this message finds you well. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts... Love.

Nursery remodel near completion

My hard working hubby and our beautiful new room to comfort and keep safe our little addition.

22 Weeks & Feeling GREAT

Hey All! Sorry it has been so long since I've posted. One word: busy. I don't know where to start so I'll just start from one week ago when this room I am standing in (see picture) looked completely different. Now, as you can see the walls are painted a neutral natural calming green and the base boards are new. What you cannot see is the new dry wall in 2/3rds of the room, walnut wood flooring, and crown molding. I have only two words to describe how this was all accomplished in less than a week: Butch & Dad. My dad (grandpa Dan) flew in last Saturday to spend the week with Butch and I remodeling the nursery. He and Butch worked and accomplished what most people would get done in 3 weeks, in about 3 days. I swear, no joke, they worked their booties off. Butch is still (as I speak) working on some finishing touches on the room and I will snap photos later today and post them asap. I can not say thank you enough to my dedicated, selfless, and hard working dad (& mom for letting us borrower him), and my sweet, talented and hard working husband. You both are making my dreams come true. You are two of the most incredible people in my world. Love you. 

I feel so freakin lucky. It is such a blessing to have such wonderful family, friends, and support system. This little boy growing inside my belly has no idea what he is in for. Two parents that love him unconditionally. Six grandparents that are ready to give him the world (when mommy and daddy are not looking of course). And great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and even a four-legged "furry baby" (as we call him) to look out for him and be there for life. My heart is so full and open and ready to be a mom. There is so much that is out of our control, so much unknown, but I feel deeply secure in Butch and my relationship and our ability embrace these changes and grow together. To everyone who has and who will continue to give, give, and give more love than any one person deserves "thank you" and we love you! 

19 Weeks

This is my 19 week belly. Still pretty small for a big baby growing inside. I have been feeling growing pains over the last week (ligaments stretching) - so I am sure the baby bump is about to plump up in size. Leo of course, always by my side, is happy to hear he is getting a little brother. He always wanted a brother (ha!).

I will check back soon with any news or progression, but last weeks news of a baby boy on the way is enough to keep us consumed for a while. 

It's a...

BOY!!! It's official, we've seen all we need to see. 

Our appointment was so much fun! Within 10 seconds of the ultrasound I saw his little dingy and I knew. I think I knew all along, I just kept the possibility open that it was a girl because that would be wonderful too. But this little bean sprouting to life inside is such a boy. We even caught him "grabbing himself" during the ultrasound. The Dr. told us he was longer than average and weighs about 10  ounces. Considering the baby books say he should weight about 7 ounces right now I am beginning to wonder what I got myself into. But honestly, he is healthy and perfect and that is all I care about! We got a DVD of the entire ultrasound and we re-watched it when we got home. He moved his little wrists back and forth like he was warming up for a gig. I think we have a little guitar player on our hands (or maybe a piano player like his great grandmother Brooks). He wiggled about and kept his hands near his face the entire time. This little boy is so loved! It was one of the best moments of my life, sitting with my husband, watching my son move about inside my womb, and finding out that he is healthy. Thank you for all of your prayers and shared excitement, this starts a new chapter and I could not be more ready. 

I am starting to feel little pokes from the baby. Only when I have time to sit quietly and relax can I detect tiny kicks from his/her little hands or feet. I am still carrying really low, and because it is still so early, the baby is not strong enough to really "move" me yet. What I am feeling is more like flutters than anything. I am REALLY looking forward to being more connected by his/her strong movements.

Mom's To Be...

This is my dear friend Julie and I on Super Sunday really letting it all hang out. Julie is due in May (Cinco De Mayo!) and is expecting a little boy. If Butch and I have a boy I can foresee a lasting bond between two little rambunctious tikes; and if we have a little girl, well, she will not be allowed to be alone with the Scherz boy after the age of 5 (or 4? we'll see). Just kidding! We love you J&J and little Nolan...

Super Sunday

Today is February 1st and I am now in my 16th week and I feel better than ever. Butch and I are having some friends over today to show off the new bathroom, eat lots of good foods (Butch is making homemade mac and cheese), and maybe catch the half-time show of the big game. Last night we stayed home and got ready to have people over. Butch cooked and prepped all the snacks and desserts while I went room-to-room dusting, wiping, vacuuming and organizing (over and over). Today is pretty much a continuation of that. I can't seem to fill my insatiable need to clean, clean, clean. Butch and I joked that I am getting to where he is all the time (for those who don't know he can be a little over zealous). The high today is 75 degrees but it feels more like 85 (sorry to those of you who are still getting snow), today will be a fun day and we hope to capture lots of pictures to post this week. Two of my pregnant girlfriends are going to be here today and we are going to use our at-home sonogram machine to listen to the baby's heartbeat's. We will attempt to post a video of this so hold on to your hats.

In other news, I see my mid-wife on Tuesday at 8:15 am, from there we will schedule my 18 week ultrasound appointment to see the baby and finally know if it is a he or she. I have been saying "she" a lot lately and visualizing a curly haired little girl with Butch's big blue eyes. Butch and I are pretty much set on a girl name, so that part would be easy. A little boy to melt mommy's heart and follow in daddy's footprints would bring us equally as much joy.

We will get pictures up in the next few days so check back. Have a great week!

The start of something....

This isn't the first picture we have taken of "the belly" as we like to say, but this is probably the first one that is more than just bloating. I am now in my 15th week of pregnancy (25 weeks to go). The baby is 4 inches long and weighs only a few ounces. He/she is roughly the size of an apple. Now officially in my 2nd trimester - I feel better and I look forward to rapid growth (for baby & mommy) for the rest of my pregnancy. I am spending a lot of time daydreaming of the perfect name, birth plan, nursery, work schedule, on & on... Mostly I look forward to sharing the joy of this new life with everyone. 

Week 15