5 Weeks Old

Check out the double chins and Garcia cheeks!

Caught mid-way threw a smile... looks a little sly!

A stern look with his wide expressive eyes.

1 Month

Brooks Daniel was brought into this world one month ago today, and I was given the best gift anyone could ask for. At birth he weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and was 21.5 inches long. He yelled as I held him against my chest, and latched on to my breast with complete confidence within minutes. The day was a blur... Butch and I were in shock from the speed at which he was delivered. It seemed like he came to us in our dreams.

The last month has been an amazing time in my life. The love I feel for this little guy is overwhelming and leaves me breathless at times. I love to look at him. Every day he changes a little and my heart aches with the thought of him growing up and leaving these memories behind us. I am so grateful for him, for this exhausting time, and for loving partner and a supportive loving family and friends.

I will always remember the following things about Brooks at one month; His double chins, his wide expressive eyes, his grunty sounds, his soft coos, his long silky dark hair in the back and thinning hair in the front, his fuzzy shoulders, back, and ears, his big hands and feet, and long legs. He loves the bath. He loves the black and white picture wall, the blinds in the bedroom and the sky light in the living room. He loves to suck his daddy's pinky finger. He grimaces at too much light, when Leo licks his feet, and some times all the time for no reason. He eats often and makes a lot of noise. He also poops very loudly and farts. He has a hilarious pursed-lip look when he is working on a poop. He sometimes sticks his entire fist in his mouth to self sooth. He loves to cuddle - ALL the time. He is a snuggle bug, a grunty bear, and a peanut...

So many more memories floating around in my tired brain. Bottom line is I love this guy - I love being a mom. Happy 1 month birthday Brooks! You are amazing in every way.

Brooks Daniel Boswell

These pictures are from Brooks' newborn photo shoot done at 8 days old. For the next few days you can see the entire gallery at http://www.tamaralalanne.com/?slideshow=brooks

The password is: Brooks

Birth Story

I woke up to my water breaking (gushing actually) at 2:45 a.m. on Wednesday 7.15.09. I announced to Butch, who seemed to be listening in his sleep that my water broke and he looked at the alarm clock in the bedroom and announced the time. I knew I was in good hands with Butch by my side. We went to the bathroom and I got into the tub to rinse off. My water continued to leak in the tub and we examined the fluid and determined it was perfectly normal. Clear, no smell, nothing to worry about, which meant we did not need to call my midwife until the contractions started. I felt so excited and a little nervous (but mostly excited) I got giddy and started laughing and my energy level rose. I rambled on nervously and imagined what the next 24 hours would be like... I was about to meet my baby Brooks! Butch said it was important not to get too excited (as instructed by our midwife) and to get back in bed and sleep as long as possible. I didn't argue with him because I felt like what he was really saying is that he needed to get back in bed and sleep as long as possible. I knew there was no chance that I would be able to sleep but I agreed with him that I needed to save my energy because labor could still be hours away. We got into bed and Butch fell right to sleep. I heard him snoring within 10 minutes. My water continued to gush over and over again. I kept getting up to clean up, then I would get back into bed and say my HypboBirthing affirmations over and over in my head as I relaxed in the dark. I visualized opening up encouraged Brooks come to me as soon as possible. About 6:00 a.m. I had to go to the bathroom. By the 3rd time on the toilet I started to feel strong pain in my lower back. I thought "are contractions finally starting? Am I having back labor?" My anxiety level shot up. I decided to take a shower with the shower head on high pressure to massage my lower back. It relaxed me a little but things were getting really intense, really fast. I called out for Butch and he didn't come the first time, so I called for him again much louder and he bolted into the bathroom with wide eyes and a big smile. I told him to call our midwife right away. He asked me how close my contractions were and I said "close." I told him to call her immediately. I kept saying "this is happening so fast!" I told Butch he may have to deliver Brooks and he assured me he could handle it (that's MY MAN!) Thankfully it didn't come to that. Meanwhile Butch handed Leo off to Mark to dog sit. I didn't want Leo getting freaked out or getting in the way. Edana arrived half an hour later and asked me to feel between my legs to see if I could feel the baby's head. She had to convince me to leave the shower because it hurt so much I didn't think I could move. When I finally laid on the bed so she could check me I was fully dilated. At the time I didn't realize that meant I could push any time I was ready. I was so caught up in the pressure and consumed by my thoughts. From that point on much of my labor was a blur. The pressure of Brooks dropping was really intense. It was a LOT at ONCE. Everything happened so so fast. I felt a lot of pressure on my lower back. It felt like I was shating out a bowling ball. That was the worse part of my labor. Butch was right there the entire time holding my hand and literally holding me up through many of my contractions. It seemed like I was changing labor positions every contraction. I thought I would love the warm bathtub but it was really uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable through every contraction but the "best" ones were when I was facing Butch and he was holding me up while Meagan (Edana's assistant) applied counter pressure on my lower back. It would have been so much worse without that. I was somewhat dilusional thinking I could find the perfect position that would ease the pain and make me feel strong again. The shocking thing about a natural childbirth is how the pressure is all you can think about. I know the pain is there to make woman breath the baby down and push them into the world (in order to alleviate the pain). No matter how uncomfortable or painful labor was I just kept imagining my baby boy and the fact that I would be holding him very soon.

Edana, Meagan, Kristy, and of course Butch, encouraged me, gave me lots of fluids, and helped me through the most incredible and challenging moments of my life. The contractions finally started to hurt less once Brooks' head started to emerge. I had a few very clear moments actually talking and joking with the girls and exchanging loving words with Butch. Whenever Kristy would check for heart tones I would feel at peace when I heard his strong beating heart working as hard as I was to come into this world and meet me. When it was time to push the urge took me over and I became an animal. I screamed and held my breath and focused on the trophy... my love... my Brooks. I pushed 3 or 4 times, and it was actually easy compared to earlier labor. I think the huge endorphin rush I had (100 times better than an epidural) sent me into another universe because I thought it felt good. Edana told Butch and I that she could see his head and it was covered in long black hair. Butch took a look... and I knew it was real... it was happening. I was ready to meet Brooks so I pushed with everything inside me and I have never felt more alive. He came into the world at 10:11 am on 8.15.09 in our bedroom on the end of our bed. Brooks was surrounded by loving people and as I held him for the first time warmth filled my heart and I became a mom.

I am sure I am leaving out a thousand tiny little details that I will store in my mind and never forget. Brooks had the most beautiful birth I could have imagined. Edana, Kristy and Meagan were all wonderful. Butch was amazing. I don't think there will be another experience in life that will compare to this. Thank God for keeping Brooks and I safe. I will always be grateful to everyone who influenced me and pushed me towards having a natural childbirth. I hope to do it again someday.